1 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,415 I just feel really close to you. 2 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,183 You are really close to me. 3 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:57,913 Well, this way we can share everything. 4 00:01:03,163 --> 00:01:05,154 Wow, that's so good. 5 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:08,961 Look. 6 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:11,729 They're still so in love. 7 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,236 How great is that? 8 00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:24,378 So, where do you see us going? 9 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,250 Well, tonight I see us going back to my place. 10 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:45,905 Wow! 11 00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:48,006 -This is your house? -Yeah. 12 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:49,465 It's beautiful! 13 00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:50,873 Thank you. 14 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:53,002 I like to come home to a nice place. 15 00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:02,014 I'm happy. Are you happy? 16 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:06,090 Oh, yeah. Happy is what I'm all about. 17 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,596 Tripp, as long as you're up, Son... 18 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:15,329 Come on, Pop! Whoa, man. Don't you knock? 19 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:16,402 What? 20 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,199 Your momma's... She's snoring like a rhino. 21 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,705 And then this music got started... 22 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,306 Hey, you must be Melody. 23 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:27,036 Melissa. 24 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,944 Oh! It's Melissa! 25 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:33,616 It's Melissa. Okay. All right. 26 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,017 Y'all have a good time. 27 00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:36,611 Night, Pop. 28 00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:42,784 You live with your parents? 29 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,523 Is that a problem? 30 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,490 Are you kidding me? 31 00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,261 And she's leaving. 32 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:49,630 Stomping down the steps. 33 00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,601 Unbelievable! Parents? 34 00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:52,864 Putting on her coat. 35 00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:54,906 Did you move that umbrella stand? 36 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,737 Oh, shit! 37 00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:01,043 We gotta get rid of that thing. You know we're gonna get sued? 38 00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,205 Damn it! 39 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,216 And she's out. 40 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,643 Another one bites the dust. 41 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,722 And he is still here. 42 00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,343 -Morning, Mom. -Morning. 43 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,536 What do you say, Pop? 44 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:07,738 Good morning, Son. 45 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,542 Get any sleep last night? 46 00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:30,166 -Okay, honey, here you go. -You're the best, Mom. 47 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,313 Are you kidding me? 48 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:48,614 -Have a good day. -You, too. 49 00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,155 -Don't forget your snack. -Thanks. 50 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,156 -Think fast! -Bye! 51 00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,509 So you dumped Melissa? 52 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:23,350 Well, technically, she dumped me. 53 00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:26,124 What happened? 54 00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:29,160 It was last night. We were in a restaurant. 55 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:32,454 She sees this elderly couple and they're holding hands, 56 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:36,057 and then she decides to hold my hand. 57 00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:39,402 So she smiles at me. 58 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:43,735 Next thing I know, she gives me "the look." 59 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,545 Dude, I'm so sorry. 60 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:48,238 No harm, no foul, though. 61 00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,472 It was just time for her to meet the parents. 62 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,682 Not the parents. 63 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:54,275 Bye-bye, Melissa. 64 00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:55,748 Here we go again. 65 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,322 Yeah. What's your point? 66 00:05:57,423 --> 00:06:00,051 The point is, my friend, 67 00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:02,223 you are afraid of love. 68 00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:06,688 Bullshit. No, no, no, no, no, man, I'm not afraid of love. 69 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,866 I love love. Look, I've had a lot of girlfriends, right? 70 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,961 And sometimes I'm the rebound guy. 71 00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:14,471 Other times, when I get lucky, 72 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:17,941 I'm the "explore new areas of your sexuality" guy. 73 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,444 But every single time, we have fun. 74 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,275 Thank you. 75 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,112 I have fun, they have fun. It's good for me, it's good for them. 76 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,051 And I would argue that's it's damn good for civilization as a whole. 77 00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,644 If more people thought that way... 78 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:30,848 I do sleep well at night. 79 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:34,825 On a twin bed, with Superman sheets that you've had since you were six. 80 00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:36,861 As opposed to you, who sleeps in a king-sized bed 81 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,021 in your mother's basement? 82 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,655 It's orthopedic, and I need it. 83 00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:41,256 And at least I'm not sponging off my parents 84 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,267 so I can afford to get laid on every continent. 85 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,704 I'm a rambling man. I'm a tumbleweed. I'm a seeker of truth. 86 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,935 And one truth I've learned, a child is a parent's greatest joy. 87 00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:53,936 Which is why I can't leave my parents' place, 88 00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:55,308 because they would miss me! 89 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,507 Amen, brother! 90 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,016 And yet, in America, we're shunned for our lifestyle. 91 00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:01,985 When we should be celebrating our lifestyle. 92 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,788 -We are men who still live at home. -Yes! 93 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,052 We're not here to apologize about who we are, or how we do it, 94 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,491 -or who we live with. -No! 95 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,859 I'm looking around this table, hombres, and I see three winners. 96 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,262 And to every one of those out there who sees something different, 97 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,800 I say bring it on! 98 00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,392 'Cause it's going to take a stick of dynamite 99 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,266 to get me out of my parents' house. 100 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,101 The boy's 35 years old! 101 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,300 It's just not fair. 102 00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:25,468 Thirty-five years! 103 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:28,775 We were good parents, and now we're supposed to be done! 104 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:31,281 Hey, I don't blame my kid for staying. 105 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,614 Our place is much nicer than anything he can afford. 106 00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:35,311 Well, our son's a flight attendant. 107 00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:36,888 He travels so much it doesn't make any sense 108 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,251 -to have his own apartment. -Yeah. 109 00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:41,155 Plus he has a lot of pilot friends who let him stay over. 110 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:46,128 Well, I say the whole thing comes down to being afraid to spank. 111 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:49,030 I mean you can't build a house without a hammer! 112 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,626 Anyone for a guava smasher? 113 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:55,871 I learned to make them in Maui. These really chase your troubles away. 114 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:56,964 Cheers, sweetie. 115 00:07:57,076 --> 00:08:00,876 And who is my hot little wahine, huh? 116 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,446 Bev? What is that? 117 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:10,414 Oh, I got this in Hawaii. This is Lono, the god of fertility. 118 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,423 Bud has one, too. Do you want to see it? 119 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,188 -No! -No! 120 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:20,362 No. I mean, what's going on here? 121 00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:23,101 -Dougie moved out! -Dougie moved out! 122 00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:24,464 -What? -You're kidding. 123 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:25,935 -Yes! -When? 124 00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:27,733 What, like two months ago! 125 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,569 It's been amazing! 126 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,302 Hey, how many times a week do you think we do it? 127 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:32,434 -Oh! -Oh, Bud. 128 00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:36,112 What? Oh! 129 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:39,310 I can't believe it. How'd you do it? Dougie's a sweet kid, but... 130 00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:42,319 How in the world did you get him to move out? 131 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:45,379 He met a girl. 132 00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,721 Met a girl? Tripp meets a new girl every week. 133 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:51,957 Well, let's just say maybe he hasn't met the right girl. 134 00:08:56,536 --> 00:09:00,028 Al, I don't want another recliner. I want something new. 135 00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:02,607 Hey, here's something new! 136 00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:04,507 Cup holders. 137 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,010 That's not what I'm talking about. 138 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:08,577 -Okay. -That's nice. 139 00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:09,875 Get what you want. 140 00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:13,145 Just know that I'm going to be having an affair within the next six months. 141 00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:16,244 If I've gotta recline, I'm making it interesting. 142 00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,322 Deal. 143 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:18,515 Hey, gang. 144 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,354 Let's stay on point here, huh? We're picking out chairs. 145 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,452 Hello, Dolly! 146 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,156 Son, you see her? 147 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,599 Pop? Pick a chair. 148 00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:30,828 This is the one I want. 149 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,632 -Sold. -No, that's polka dot. 150 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,103 We're not gonna put that in the house. 151 00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:35,195 Pop, relax. 152 00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:37,275 She's taking the chair with her when she leaves you. 153 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,407 We ain't buying that chair. 154 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,743 I am getting this polka-dot chair. I've got my own money. 155 00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:45,442 Unless you start dancing again, you're broke. 156 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,553 Excuse me. 157 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,054 -That's mine. -Yes, ma'am. 158 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,381 You're buying that? 159 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:54,481 No. 160 00:09:58,197 --> 00:10:00,290 Want a cocktail, blanket or anything? 161 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,424 No, I just need my 20 minutes. 162 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,469 -For what? -To clear my head. 163 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,404 I come here to relax. 164 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:12,568 You know what helps me? Put on the Food Network. 165 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,675 Takes the edge right off. 166 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,611 Gotta find what works for you. 167 00:10:19,518 --> 00:10:21,816 Okay, look, the salesmen don't mind because I bring them coffee, 168 00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:23,786 and the music selection is a soothing blend 169 00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:26,255 of mid-'70s singer-songwriters and smooth jazz. 170 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,293 It's practically narcotic. 171 00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:30,362 And, usually, people leave me alone. 172 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,896 Sure they do. 173 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,631 There's what you're talking about. 174 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:36,895 It's nice, huh? 175 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:40,336 Yeah! I make fun of my parents, but these babies are sweet. 176 00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,435 -I'm Paula. -I'm Tripp. 177 00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:45,066 You know, usually I don't sleep with someone on the first date. 178 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:47,304 I don't think this counts as a first date. 179 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:51,483 It would be a date if you asked me to have a drink tonight. 180 00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,151 Wanna have a drink tonight? 181 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,515 Can't. How about lunch tomorrow? 182 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:59,250 Sure. Wait. Tomorrow's Saturday. 183 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,018 Sometimes I eat on Saturdays. 184 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,221 No, I'm doing something with my nephew. 185 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,422 How about Monday? 186 00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:09,932 I'll meet you here. 187 00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:11,833 Beautiful. 188 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,775 Hey, hey! 189 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,216 Hey, Paula. 190 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,186 Good news, it's Champagne Thursday. 191 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,615 It's Friday. 192 00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:34,158 Yeah, Thursday came twice this week. 193 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:36,925 For the third straight week. 194 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,020 There's talk of making it permanent. 195 00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:40,792 Kind of like daylight-savings time? 196 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,959 Right. But for booze. 197 00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,701 -Cheers. -Cheers. 198 00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,768 Shut up, you whore. 199 00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:52,339 I'm sorry. Was I sipping too loudly for you? 200 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,605 No, you're not sipping too loud. 201 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,341 It's that goddamn bird outside my goddamn window. 202 00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:59,646 What the hell kind of devil bird chirps at night? 203 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,587 I think it sounds kind of pretty. 204 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:07,925 You met a guy today. 205 00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:09,517 As a matter of fact, I did. 206 00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:10,925 He's cute, too. 207 00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:12,759 I met a guy today, too. 208 00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:14,025 Really? 209 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,527 He's a radiologist. 210 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:18,296 Well, that's a step up. 211 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,373 He offered to give me a full-body scan next week, free of charge. 212 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,634 Those don't come cheap, you know. 213 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,233 I know. I'm pretty excited about it. 214 00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:30,209 How cute? 215 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,376 Cute. 216 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:36,150 Well, Tripp's a really nice guy. 217 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,349 He's smart, he's sweet, he's funny. 218 00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:42,586 We had a wonderful first meeting. I see incredible potential here. 219 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,219 So all systems are go? 220 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,355 Based on the initial personality assessment, 221 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,933 I think that I can have your son moved out of this house 222 00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:51,832 and living on his own by June 15th. 223 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,103 Hallelujah! 224 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,834 Well, you know, you'd be amazed at how many adult children 225 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,102 are still living at home. 226 00:12:58,210 --> 00:13:01,907 Now, it's my opinion that the root cause is a lack of self-esteem. 227 00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:04,175 Oh, Oprah talks about that all the time. 228 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,580 Oprah don't know crap! 229 00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:07,948 Heck, when I was growing up, nobody had self-esteem, 230 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:09,145 and we turned out fine. 231 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,689 You're a rock, Al. You make me a better woman. 232 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,750 Look, many young men who should be able to move out, simply can't. 233 00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,989 It's called "failure to launch." And that's where I come in. 234 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:22,226 Young men develop self-esteem best during a romantic relationship, 235 00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,097 so I simulate one. 236 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:26,296 We have a memorable meeting. 237 00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:29,030 We get to know each other over a few casual meals, 238 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,870 he helps me through an emotional crisis, 239 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,307 then I meet his friends, 240 00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,505 if he has any, 241 00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:36,308 then I let him teach me something... 242 00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,905 But the bottom line is, 243 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,117 he bonds with me. 244 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,945 He lets go of you. 245 00:13:41,086 --> 00:13:42,519 He moves out. 246 00:13:43,422 --> 00:13:47,017 But how do you make sure that he'll fall in love with you? 247 00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:49,219 You look nice, you find out what they like, 248 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,228 and then you pretend to like it, too. 249 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,355 That is pretty much how it works. 250 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,060 What about sex? 251 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,295 Al, I never have sex with a client. 252 00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:01,498 Besides, I need to keep Tripp motivated, 253 00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:04,833 and let's face it, after men have sex... 254 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,109 Is there anything that we need to do? 255 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:11,240 Well, for starters, you could make life a little more difficult for him. 256 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:15,343 You know, more chores, more responsibilities, that kind of thing. 257 00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:18,685 I just think you should know that Tripp has had some rough breaks. 258 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,850 I promise you, when this is over, 259 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,793 Tripp is going to be an independent, 260 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:26,057 self-sufficient adult. 261 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:28,463 Shut up, dude! Don't help him! 262 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,296 -Watch the safety. No, no, no. -No, he's in a run defense... 263 00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:31,699 Don't do it! Don't do it! I got you! I got you! 264 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,829 -Throw it to Moss. Throw it to Moss! -Watch out! I'm going deep! 265 00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,429 No, you don't! Shit! 266 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,565 That's a bad word, Jeffrey. 267 00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:39,337 So is "bastard," but that just means your parents aren't married. 268 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,742 -Look at him! Look at him! -No! Shit! 269 00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,143 He could go all the way! 270 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:43,579 Touchdown! 271 00:14:43,682 --> 00:14:45,149 Yes! 272 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,117 -Sit down! -That's a face! 273 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,178 That's great, man. 274 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:50,755 That's good sportsmanship. Nice dance. 275 00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:54,087 Wow, my forehead itches. 276 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,060 That's cool, the "L" for loser. Keep it up, little man. 277 00:14:58,163 --> 00:14:59,425 I'll make you walk home. 278 00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:00,691 Hell, you are such a good uncle. 279 00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:02,733 That's like eight miles. It'll take you two days. 280 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:03,995 -Hey, boys. -Hey. 281 00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:05,570 -Hi. -Tripp, we're going out. 282 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:08,162 All right, listen, you got any more chips and salsa downstairs? 283 00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,105 Oh, I didn't get to the store. 284 00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:12,110 But you could go. 285 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:16,207 And you said you needed your basketball shorts, 286 00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:17,714 so I put them in the laundry. 287 00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:19,943 -Right. Thank you, babe. -But I didn't get to it. 288 00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:22,145 So you're going to need to do a load. 289 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,346 A load? 290 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:27,357 And your bathroom needs cleaning, so I left the stuff in the hall. 291 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:28,926 And when you're done with the rubber gloves, 292 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,258 just remember to turn them inside out. 293 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:32,631 Bye. 294 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,101 Something's wrong with your mom. 295 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:42,833 This is really nice. 296 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,910 I've never actually been on a sailboat before. 297 00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,637 Hey, I'd be fine 298 00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:48,780 if I never set foot on solid ground again. 299 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,509 You know, I bet I'd really love it if we ever left the dock. 300 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,743 Well, yeah! 301 00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:54,682 But to actually take you out on the water on a first date 302 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,379 would be very forward of me, Paula. 303 00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,956 Well, so far I must say I'm very impressed. 304 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,754 Beautiful setting, a simple meal... 305 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:04,085 I assume this technique has worked in the past? 306 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,957 Yes, ma'am, it has. 307 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,390 Is it working now? 308 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:09,558 You know what? It kind of is. 309 00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:14,338 Let's go for a walk. 310 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,533 But I'm not done with lunch. 311 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,177 Yeah, you are. 312 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,244 Seriously, I'm not one of those girls who don't eat. I want... 313 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:25,749 I wanted all of that. 314 00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:28,081 See, technically, this is not my boat. 315 00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,883 Actually, it's not my boat in any way. 316 00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:33,824 -What? -I'm a boat broker. I sell boats. 317 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:37,555 I would love to own a boat like this, but it's not the right time in my life. 318 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:40,063 Besides, the guy who does own this boat 319 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,894 is right behind you. 320 00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:45,531 Hey there, Mr. Axelrod! I thought you were out of town! 321 00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:47,730 Well, I was, and now I'm not. 322 00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:51,240 What's going on? Is that a fork? Are you eating on my boat? 323 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,310 No. 324 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,506 When did you redo the galley? 325 00:16:57,916 --> 00:16:59,110 Oh, you're in the market? 326 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,186 Might be. What's she draw? 327 00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:02,685 Seven-three. 328 00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:04,620 Cherry's a little dark. 329 00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:06,489 The wife picked it. 330 00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:08,023 It's got nice lines. 331 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,685 She's fast, too. 332 00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:12,424 Well, she certainly is yare. 333 00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:16,091 I'll think about it. Thanks for your time. 334 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,668 Yes, ma'am. 335 00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:18,970 Thank you. 336 00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:23,905 You're gonna let her walk away? 337 00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:26,409 I'm giving her space, Mr. Axelrod. 338 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:28,740 Now, 339 00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,949 I'm going after her. 340 00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:39,548 Excuse me, ma'am. "She certainly is yare"? 341 00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:40,989 Philadelphia Story. 342 00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:42,219 Sweet. 343 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,630 All right, assuming that pretending to own a yacht 344 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,168 was a brilliant, romantic, yet ultimately flawed idea, 345 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,499 how do you see the rest of the date playing out? 346 00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:56,836 I don't know. I'm so hungry I can't think. Seagulls ate my lunch. 347 00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:58,674 What if I take you to a restaurant? 348 00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:00,335 Are you gonna pretend to own it? 349 00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:03,643 No. All the restaurants I own are in Europe. 350 00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:13,718 Well, hey there, Ace. Glad you could make it, man. 351 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:14,918 We thought you went home. 352 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:18,519 I fell into a deep, dark crevasse. I was so scared. 353 00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,593 Did you go out with La-Z-Girl? 354 00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,826 Paula. I did. We had lunch. 355 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,425 Will there be a second date? 356 00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:26,163 There will be a second date. 357 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,239 Yet the relationship is doomed to failure. 358 00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:30,740 Right. And why are we doomed? 359 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,567 You live with your parents? 360 00:18:33,679 --> 00:18:34,668 He's right. 361 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,238 Your entire life is set up perfectly for ending relationships. 362 00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:39,476 We've been out one time. 363 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:42,019 She's a nice girl, I'm a nice guy, we had fun. 364 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,214 And I must tell you, son, 365 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,686 nothing is doomed. 366 00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,811 Gnarly crash! 367 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,486 What are you doing? 368 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,957 Remember, we're the visitors here. 369 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,025 Come on. 370 00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,861 -Wow. You're feeding it a little peanut? -Yeah. 371 00:19:29,968 --> 00:19:32,061 He gets that stuff all the time, man. 372 00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:33,798 This is what he wants. 373 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,703 You want a treat from the big city, boy? 374 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,741 He's not a child, Tripp. 375 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:40,205 Look how peaceful he is. 376 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:41,472 Come here, little boy. 377 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,775 You want a little bit of chocolate, baby-boo-boo? 378 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,110 You're giving him a PowerBar? 379 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:46,844 Everybody loves chocolate. 380 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,152 Tripp, he's saying no. 381 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,585 Look into my eyes. 382 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,179 He's saying no, Tripp. 383 00:19:55,727 --> 00:19:58,423 Tripp? Tripp? Dude? 384 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:02,861 Get off! 385 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,771 What is he doing? Is that a squirrel? 386 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,274 No, it's a chipmunk. 387 00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:16,378 Watch the bike. 388 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,889 Oh, hey. I'm Tripp. 389 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:30,385 You must be Kit. 390 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,298 It's a mockingbird. 391 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,492 Who did what? 392 00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,001 It's a mockingbird. 393 00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,365 What is? 394 00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:42,235 You don't hear that? That annoying noise. 395 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:44,304 Oh, yeah, now I hear it. 396 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,467 I looked it up. 397 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,637 They can imitate car alarms, and telephones, and other birds. 398 00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,612 I called Animal Control, and you know what they said? 399 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:54,482 They said I should just enjoy one of nature's most talented singers. 400 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,554 -Yeah. -I'm gonna kill it. 401 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,724 Okay, I'm all set. 402 00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:01,389 -Oh, wow. -Hi. 403 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:02,755 Wow, look at you. 404 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,226 Well, look at you. 405 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:05,761 Sweet shoes. 406 00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:07,592 Really? Thanks. 407 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,901 Okay, well, Kit, we're gonna go. See you. 408 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,436 -You ready? -Yeah. 409 00:21:12,537 --> 00:21:14,198 Okay, you two kids have a blast. 410 00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:17,207 -Thanks. -Hey, Kit, good luck with the... 411 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:26,244 It's a chipmunk bite. 412 00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:29,013 I figured. Obviously not a normal chipmunk. 413 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,145 You're right about that. 414 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:34,851 No, this was like a big, oversized, like, bobcat, grizzly-bear chipmunk. 415 00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:36,995 I'm pretty fortunate to still be here. 416 00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:38,255 -Wow. -Yeah. 417 00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:39,330 What did the doctor say? 418 00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:40,523 I didn't need to see a doctor. 419 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:43,328 I had some cream at home that I put on it. 420 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,527 -You had chipmunk cream? -Yeah. 421 00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,229 -Wow, that's lucky. -Isn't it? 422 00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:50,932 I take it you like Japanese food. 423 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,340 Oh, I love it. 424 00:21:52,444 --> 00:21:54,878 I'm also gonna order a huge dessert, drink too much, 425 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,811 and maybe talk about my old boyfriends. 426 00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:58,473 -Yeah? -Does that intimidate you? 427 00:21:58,583 --> 00:21:59,914 Not at all. 428 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:01,911 Cheers, Paula. 429 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:03,214 Cheers. 430 00:22:06,124 --> 00:22:10,288 All right, T-R-l-double-P going in to get a little squid. 431 00:22:12,297 --> 00:22:13,821 Do you need me to help you with that? 432 00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:16,526 I got it. I got it. Look at this, look at this. 433 00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:17,997 I admire the confidence. 434 00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:20,071 Thank you. I am fairly... 435 00:22:21,139 --> 00:22:23,266 ambidextrous. 436 00:22:25,243 --> 00:22:26,403 Oh, shit. 437 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:28,911 I'm sorry! Excuse me. 438 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,572 Squid's a little bit greasy tonight. 439 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,445 Sorry. Yeah. 440 00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:33,813 That's not easy to do. 441 00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:35,181 I didn't see anything. 442 00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:39,756 Tell me about yourself. What do you do for a living? 443 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,624 I teach special needs kids. 444 00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:48,621 -How's the hand? -It's fine. 445 00:22:48,734 --> 00:22:49,758 -Is it throbbing? -No. 446 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:52,098 Is the medication wearing off? 447 00:22:52,838 --> 00:22:54,305 Gotta scratch. 448 00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:57,434 Oh, yeah. 449 00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:58,509 Well, 450 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:01,543 home again. 451 00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:03,039 Home again. 452 00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:04,272 I had a nice time. 453 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,407 I did, too. 454 00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:06,711 Good. 455 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,045 I had fun. 456 00:23:08,153 --> 00:23:09,211 Good. 457 00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:14,856 Shut up! Shut up you crazy bastard bird bitch! 458 00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:17,092 Hey, Kit! 459 00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:18,724 What? Hi. 460 00:23:19,664 --> 00:23:21,188 Can you guys see me? 461 00:23:21,299 --> 00:23:22,266 -Yeah! -Yeah. 462 00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:24,062 Oh. Great. 463 00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:27,396 What? 464 00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,533 Dinner and a show. 465 00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:35,076 Good night. 466 00:23:36,715 --> 00:23:37,783 Good night. 467 00:23:37,983 --> 00:23:39,974 Now, what type of a boat do you see yourself in? 468 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,313 Well, I'm not sure. 469 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,581 But I do know that I need to be out in the open sea. 470 00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:45,656 Well, you gotta ask yourself some questions. 471 00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:47,384 Do you like speed? 472 00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:49,685 Do you like to hear the roar of an engine? 473 00:23:49,795 --> 00:23:52,696 Do you want to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible? 474 00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:54,663 If that turns you on, then you want a powerboat. 475 00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:57,633 Okay, that's it. That's it. Power. That's me. Yes. 476 00:23:57,736 --> 00:24:00,068 Well, that's one way to go. But maybe you want to slow down. 477 00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:02,072 You know, listen to the wind and the water. 478 00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:04,608 Have sunrise and sunset as your only clock. 479 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,438 Know that you could go around the world 480 00:24:06,545 --> 00:24:08,672 on less than a tank of gas. 481 00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:13,573 Now, if that sounds good to you, then maybe you're sailors. 482 00:24:13,685 --> 00:24:16,210 This is not a hobby. This... 483 00:24:16,688 --> 00:24:17,677 It's a lifestyle. 484 00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:20,451 Well, now that is passion! 485 00:24:20,559 --> 00:24:22,220 -What has happened to you? -What's happened to me? 486 00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:23,988 I want to feel the wind. 487 00:24:24,095 --> 00:24:25,153 I do not want to feel... 488 00:24:25,263 --> 00:24:27,197 I want to make the wind, okay? Look... 489 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:28,527 -Make the wind? -Yeah. I'm not a sailor. 490 00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:30,191 You don't make wind sitting on a boat in a dock. 491 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:32,702 I'm a power guy. Power. Like "power boat." 492 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:33,793 -You're a power guy? -Excuse me. 493 00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:36,269 -I want to feel that beneath... -Guys who drink Kahlua and cream 494 00:24:36,374 --> 00:24:38,239 are not power guys, honey. 495 00:24:38,343 --> 00:24:39,469 Tripp. 496 00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:44,205 Whoa, slow down, slow down, Paula. 497 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:46,716 Mr. Fritz was my best friend 498 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,511 since he was a little puppy. 499 00:24:51,223 --> 00:24:53,691 Just a little fur ball. 500 00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:57,317 He was too small to even jump up on the bed 501 00:24:57,562 --> 00:24:59,052 and now he's... 502 00:25:00,932 --> 00:25:01,899 He's... 503 00:25:02,734 --> 00:25:04,429 Got a tissue or something? 504 00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:09,206 -He saved my life, you know. -He did? 505 00:25:09,307 --> 00:25:13,368 And now I can't do anything for him, and I... 506 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:31,321 Oh, shit. 507 00:25:34,599 --> 00:25:36,590 I'm so glad you're here. 508 00:25:39,938 --> 00:25:41,701 Yeah, of course I am. 509 00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,405 Can I have a minute alone with him? 510 00:25:49,981 --> 00:25:51,073 Thank you. 511 00:25:51,182 --> 00:25:53,207 -I'll be right outside. -Okay. 512 00:26:02,093 --> 00:26:03,321 Thanks, Gretchen. 513 00:26:03,428 --> 00:26:04,622 Anytime. 514 00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:07,621 Gosh, Emotional Crisis Day is so critical. 515 00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:09,893 I cry, he cries. 516 00:26:10,001 --> 00:26:11,525 It totally bonds us. 517 00:26:11,636 --> 00:26:13,228 So how long do you think he's gonna sleep for? 518 00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:15,306 Half an hour. He's only here for some dental work. 519 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:17,841 Oh. What's his real name, anyway? 520 00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:18,967 I don't know. 521 00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:21,238 I just clean their teeth and chop their balls off. 522 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,319 God, that is so sad. 523 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,013 Yeah, it was a beautiful dog, man. 524 00:26:31,122 --> 00:26:32,521 She was devastated. 525 00:26:32,624 --> 00:26:35,024 Well, this is exactly what she needs. Good choice. 526 00:26:35,126 --> 00:26:37,686 -There she is. Hey, Paula. -Hi. 527 00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:40,356 Paula, these are my good friends, Demo and Ace. Guys, Paula. 528 00:26:40,465 --> 00:26:41,591 Hi, it's nice to meet you. 529 00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:44,362 -I'm so sorry for your loss. -Come on, don't. 530 00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:45,697 Thank you. 531 00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:48,102 -Nice suit. How you doing? -Thank you. Hi. 532 00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:52,639 You know, most guys would've sent flowers, chocolates maybe, 533 00:26:52,744 --> 00:26:56,077 but I gotta say, I did not see this coming. 534 00:26:56,181 --> 00:26:58,911 Well, you know, anybody can send flowers, Paula. 535 00:26:59,017 --> 00:27:01,918 Now, I'm going to let you in on "the" secret. 536 00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:05,147 It's called the "finger roll." Quick fingers, light on the trigger. 537 00:27:05,256 --> 00:27:06,985 See, double trigger... 538 00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:10,485 More paintballs in less time means victory. 539 00:27:10,595 --> 00:27:11,857 Let's see it. 540 00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:13,123 When you're out there today 541 00:27:13,231 --> 00:27:16,200 and you got these paintballs flying at you at over 200 miles an hour, 542 00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:20,032 I guarantee you will not be thinking about the late, great Mr. Fritz. 543 00:27:20,905 --> 00:27:23,772 Holy moly. They really move that fast? 544 00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:26,742 Oh, my God! 545 00:27:28,513 --> 00:27:29,605 I'm so sorry! 546 00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:30,840 Nice shot! 547 00:27:30,949 --> 00:27:32,507 -Oh, thanks. -He's okay. 548 00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:38,751 Let's go shoot some strangers, huh? 549 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:48,492 First one to paint the skirt gets a beer. 550 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,201 I think that guy just laughed at me. Who are these guys? 551 00:27:52,303 --> 00:27:54,203 They go by "Devil Babies." 552 00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:56,330 They finished third in the National Championship. 553 00:27:56,441 --> 00:27:58,102 This should be an excellent test of our skills. 554 00:27:58,209 --> 00:28:00,302 -Wait. These guys are champions? -All right, all right. 555 00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:02,107 They didn't win it. 556 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:04,504 Go! 557 00:28:04,949 --> 00:28:06,143 Move, move, move! 558 00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:07,582 Let's go! 559 00:28:09,788 --> 00:28:11,187 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 560 00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:12,390 Oh, my God! 561 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,591 Let's go! Go, go, go, go! 562 00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:21,462 There you are! Look alive! 563 00:28:22,033 --> 00:28:23,000 I'm out. 564 00:28:24,903 --> 00:28:26,336 -Watch out! -Watch it! 565 00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:28,030 Come on, blondie! 566 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:45,016 Am I out? 567 00:28:56,935 --> 00:28:59,301 I didn't know they sold beer here. 568 00:29:00,505 --> 00:29:01,631 They don't. 569 00:29:04,509 --> 00:29:07,444 There you go! Stay down, Paula! Stay down! 570 00:29:11,483 --> 00:29:12,973 Can I have one? 571 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:15,742 No. 572 00:29:15,954 --> 00:29:17,046 Check it out! 573 00:29:27,132 --> 00:29:28,599 Warm day, huh? 574 00:29:36,474 --> 00:29:37,941 Nice talking to you. 575 00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:43,077 Damn it! 576 00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:44,739 Paula? 577 00:29:44,849 --> 00:29:46,441 Sorry! Sorry! 578 00:29:46,551 --> 00:29:48,416 Does it count if it was an accident? 579 00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:50,849 Bad finger roll. 580 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,820 All right, I need you to come to me. 581 00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:55,825 No, thanks. I'm just gonna stay over here till it's over. 582 00:29:55,927 --> 00:29:56,951 -Now! -Okay. 583 00:30:01,432 --> 00:30:02,421 I'm out. 584 00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:06,202 Shit! I'm out! 585 00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:08,898 -You will not have died in vain! -Stay down. 586 00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:11,032 Paula, where are you? 587 00:30:11,543 --> 00:30:13,841 Finger roll. Finger roll. Finger roll. 588 00:30:13,945 --> 00:30:17,904 Oh, Tinkerbell! Come out, come out, wherever you are! 589 00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:21,645 The sooner you lose, the sooner you can go shopping! 590 00:30:24,289 --> 00:30:25,654 Oh, man! 591 00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:27,755 Who's laughing now? 592 00:30:31,596 --> 00:30:32,927 You did it! 593 00:30:34,465 --> 00:30:35,830 -Get out of here! -Boy, you made it! 594 00:30:35,934 --> 00:30:36,992 Come on! 595 00:30:37,101 --> 00:30:38,329 Where'd that come from? 596 00:30:38,469 --> 00:30:40,027 -Look at you! -I love it. 597 00:30:40,138 --> 00:30:41,503 -Hey, Kit! -Kind of fun, huh? 598 00:30:41,606 --> 00:30:44,234 You know what? I'm gonna go powder my nose. 599 00:30:45,343 --> 00:30:47,811 I take it you're over your dead golden retriever. 600 00:30:47,912 --> 00:30:50,745 You know, if I really had a dog and he really had died, 601 00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:53,215 I think this would have totally helped. 602 00:30:53,318 --> 00:30:55,616 Man, she's got good spatial awareness. 603 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:56,912 And great hair! 604 00:30:57,021 --> 00:30:58,613 -Thanks. -She's a keeper, man. 605 00:30:58,723 --> 00:31:00,816 She's really great. Really great, Tripp. 606 00:31:00,925 --> 00:31:02,517 So can we go now? 607 00:31:03,428 --> 00:31:04,895 Meeting the friends is very important. 608 00:31:04,996 --> 00:31:06,964 Guys need to know we not only like them, 609 00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:09,033 but we like their friends, too. 610 00:31:09,133 --> 00:31:12,102 Fine. The tall one's kind of cute. What's he do? 611 00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:13,761 Oh, he's some kind of software writer. 612 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,499 He works out of his basement, but he makes a lot of money. 613 00:31:15,607 --> 00:31:17,268 Oh, you know what? No, that's the little guy. 614 00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:20,037 The tall one just got fired from Kinko's. 615 00:31:21,913 --> 00:31:23,437 How will I choose? 616 00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,072 This is going very well. 617 00:31:25,183 --> 00:31:27,310 Good. So we can go now. 618 00:31:28,086 --> 00:31:29,849 Not until I get "the nod." 619 00:31:29,954 --> 00:31:33,151 If I don't get "the nod," the friends undermine. 620 00:31:35,059 --> 00:31:37,027 I think you're getting "the nod." 621 00:31:39,430 --> 00:31:40,397 Oh, yeah. 622 00:31:40,765 --> 00:31:43,598 Oh, Tripp is just cruising through the steps. 623 00:31:43,701 --> 00:31:48,001 In fact, I think tomorrow I'm gonna let him teach me something. 624 00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:03,118 Now, basically there's two ways to turn a boat. 625 00:32:03,821 --> 00:32:06,221 There's "coming about," which is turning into the wind, 626 00:32:06,324 --> 00:32:08,554 and there's "jibing," which is turning away from the wind. 627 00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:11,595 Now, jibing is something that you never want to do with a rookie onboard, 628 00:32:11,696 --> 00:32:13,459 so let's give it a shot, huh? 629 00:32:13,564 --> 00:32:15,964 Well, wait, wait, wait. Why is jibing bad? 630 00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:18,399 It's not bad, it's just fun. Jibe ho! 631 00:32:18,503 --> 00:32:20,528 Come on, babe! Let's get over there! 632 00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:26,501 Come on, boy! 633 00:32:32,684 --> 00:32:33,810 Oh, my God! 634 00:32:34,552 --> 00:32:37,715 Nothing like the threat of decapitation to make it a little more interesting. 635 00:32:40,024 --> 00:32:43,221 Make off this sheet, like so. 636 00:32:46,297 --> 00:32:47,264 Okay. 637 00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:51,224 "Jibe ho" and "making off the sheet"? 638 00:32:51,336 --> 00:32:54,897 That's too many words to learn. I just want to get a suntan. 639 00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:56,398 Here, take the wheel. 640 00:32:56,507 --> 00:32:58,202 What? Really? 641 00:32:58,309 --> 00:32:59,298 Oh, yeah. 642 00:32:59,410 --> 00:33:00,434 All right. 643 00:33:00,545 --> 00:33:02,274 -We call it the helm. -Okay. 644 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:03,745 Wait, wait, wait! What are you doing? 645 00:33:03,848 --> 00:33:05,145 I'm going down below. 646 00:33:05,516 --> 00:33:06,574 What's down below? 647 00:33:06,684 --> 00:33:08,413 I don't know, beer, wine, chips, rum. 648 00:33:08,519 --> 00:33:10,146 I don't know. It's not my boat. 649 00:33:10,355 --> 00:33:12,482 But I don't know what I'm doing! I'm not kidding! Seriously! 650 00:33:12,590 --> 00:33:13,852 You're sailing! 651 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,425 What if I hit something? 652 00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:23,634 I think you'll be okay. Fly. 653 00:33:24,302 --> 00:33:25,269 Wow. 654 00:33:27,038 --> 00:33:28,096 I'm sailing. 655 00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:43,980 Oh, man. 656 00:33:44,722 --> 00:33:46,485 That's gorgeous! 657 00:33:56,701 --> 00:34:00,137 You know, I thought going on a boat was a good idea because you like it, 658 00:34:00,238 --> 00:34:03,401 but my God! That was great! 659 00:34:03,608 --> 00:34:07,476 You should buy that boat! I mean, I'm sure it's expensive, but so what? 660 00:34:08,713 --> 00:34:11,375 Well, I like that boat, but I really don't... 661 00:34:11,649 --> 00:34:12,809 Nice. 662 00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:15,512 I don't really want a new boat. 663 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:18,646 What I would love is an old wooden boat. 664 00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:22,589 Now, they're a lot more upkeep, but when you're on one of those, 665 00:34:22,827 --> 00:34:25,694 it's like you're part of something, you know? 666 00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:30,828 It's like you're connected, you know, to the original seafaring people 667 00:34:30,935 --> 00:34:33,199 who set sail into the unknown and said things like, 668 00:34:33,304 --> 00:34:35,397 "Holy crap, that's a big wave!" 669 00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:39,774 So do it. Buy a crummy old boat. 670 00:34:40,211 --> 00:34:41,940 Who cares, as long as you're out there? 671 00:34:42,046 --> 00:34:44,139 Well, I'm working on it. 672 00:34:45,016 --> 00:34:47,644 The thing is, you gotta be ready. I mean, it's a big commitment. 673 00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:49,845 And if you're not ready, you just end up, 674 00:34:49,954 --> 00:34:52,787 well, a Ionely guy with a big boat payment. 675 00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:54,955 Who says you have to be Ionely? 676 00:35:25,089 --> 00:35:27,614 -Hey. -Oh, hey! Hi! 677 00:35:27,725 --> 00:35:28,953 I didn't know you were home. 678 00:35:29,060 --> 00:35:32,052 Yeah, everyone from work went to T.G.I. Friday's, 679 00:35:32,163 --> 00:35:34,461 but I don't really like that place. 680 00:35:34,565 --> 00:35:36,726 -Or anyone I work with. -Oh, good. 681 00:35:36,834 --> 00:35:39,894 So then we can stay in and watch one of those drinking movies you like. 682 00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:41,130 Yeah. 683 00:35:45,610 --> 00:35:47,077 I smell something. 684 00:35:47,912 --> 00:35:49,504 Do you smell something? 685 00:35:51,582 --> 00:35:54,176 Oh, Tripp and I had crab today. 686 00:35:54,485 --> 00:35:56,112 No, that's not it. 687 00:35:57,121 --> 00:35:58,952 I smell fun. 688 00:36:01,292 --> 00:36:02,350 What? 689 00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:04,951 You are a dirty little fun-haver. 690 00:36:05,062 --> 00:36:08,657 That is absurd. Tripp is a fascinating case. 691 00:36:08,766 --> 00:36:11,257 He doesn't fit the usual profile. 692 00:36:11,369 --> 00:36:12,393 Of losers and shut-ins? 693 00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:14,596 I actually don't even see why he still lives at home. 694 00:36:14,705 --> 00:36:17,299 He's got a good job, he's got normal social skills, 695 00:36:17,408 --> 00:36:19,569 he's attractive, 696 00:36:19,977 --> 00:36:21,945 he's really sweet. 697 00:36:24,282 --> 00:36:28,776 That's so nice that you get to hang out with such a sweet guy every day. 698 00:36:32,290 --> 00:36:36,659 It was a rewarding and successful work day. That's all. 699 00:36:36,761 --> 00:36:37,728 Okay. 700 00:36:37,828 --> 00:36:41,491 And at the end of it, I looked into his eyes, 701 00:36:42,166 --> 00:36:43,133 and I saw it. 702 00:36:44,168 --> 00:36:45,601 I've got him. 703 00:36:46,237 --> 00:36:49,400 He is as good as moved out. 704 00:36:50,808 --> 00:36:53,368 It's over. She's gotta go. 705 00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:54,704 You're dumping Paula? 706 00:36:54,812 --> 00:36:57,337 -What happened? -Same thing that always happens. 707 00:36:57,448 --> 00:36:59,006 Everything is going along nice and smooth, 708 00:36:59,116 --> 00:37:00,105 we're having a good time, 709 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:02,686 and all of a sudden, out of nowhere... 710 00:37:02,987 --> 00:37:04,113 She gets serious. 711 00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:07,953 I hate to say it, boys, but it is time to take the girl home. 712 00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:09,788 -You're doing it again. -What? 713 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:13,830 The thing where the woman gets close and you pull the relationship ripcord. 714 00:37:13,931 --> 00:37:16,331 Guys, it's simple. The fun's gone. 715 00:37:17,435 --> 00:37:19,426 Hey, guys, check this out! 716 00:37:21,272 --> 00:37:22,500 Hey, boy! 717 00:37:24,208 --> 00:37:26,472 Come here, boy. Come here, boy. 718 00:37:27,678 --> 00:37:28,906 What's he saying, Demo? 719 00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:32,773 Where'd you go? 720 00:37:32,883 --> 00:37:33,907 Where'd he go? 721 00:37:34,018 --> 00:37:36,213 -Let me ask you something, Demo. -Yeah. 722 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,948 How's this surfing if there are no waves? 723 00:37:41,826 --> 00:37:42,793 Tripp? 724 00:37:49,233 --> 00:37:50,393 Should we go after him? 725 00:37:50,501 --> 00:37:51,661 Well, he's their passenger now. 726 00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:54,966 Passenger? He just took him underwater! 727 00:37:55,673 --> 00:37:56,901 Take me! 728 00:38:00,444 --> 00:38:01,672 Oh, shit! 729 00:38:02,146 --> 00:38:04,637 Oh, shit! The son of a bitch bit me! 730 00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:09,712 So you were bit by a dolphin? 731 00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:12,948 Yeah. And not just any dolphin, either. 732 00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:15,719 This was a great white dolphin, all right? 733 00:38:16,594 --> 00:38:18,289 I'm lucky to still be here. 734 00:38:23,768 --> 00:38:24,928 What? 735 00:38:27,338 --> 00:38:28,532 Nothing. 736 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:33,677 Wow! 737 00:38:34,478 --> 00:38:36,207 -This is your house? -Yeah. 738 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:38,214 -It's beautiful. -Thank you. 739 00:38:38,783 --> 00:38:41,274 I like to come home to a nice place. 740 00:38:43,454 --> 00:38:45,649 -Come on in. -Thank you. 741 00:38:48,225 --> 00:38:49,852 -It's very pretty. -Thank you. 742 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,689 -You want something to drink? -Yeah, sure. 743 00:38:51,796 --> 00:38:53,263 Beer? Glass of wine? 744 00:38:53,364 --> 00:38:54,956 -Sure, wine would be great, thanks. -Glass of wine. 745 00:38:55,066 --> 00:38:56,033 Thanks. 746 00:38:56,233 --> 00:38:59,100 Hey, Mom, Pop, I thought y'all were going out. 747 00:38:59,203 --> 00:39:03,003 Out? What would we go out for? We've got those brand-new chairs! 748 00:39:04,775 --> 00:39:05,901 Hello. 749 00:39:09,647 --> 00:39:12,172 Tripp, who's your little friend? 750 00:39:12,283 --> 00:39:13,773 Mom, Dad, this is Paula. 751 00:39:13,884 --> 00:39:17,411 Paula, this is my mom, my dad, Sue and Al. 752 00:39:17,822 --> 00:39:20,188 Wow! Well! 753 00:39:20,291 --> 00:39:22,020 -Hello. How do you do? -Hello. 754 00:39:22,126 --> 00:39:23,286 Hi. 755 00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:26,086 It's a great pleasure to meet you both. 756 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:27,494 Hi, Paula. 757 00:39:29,467 --> 00:39:30,434 Wow. 758 00:39:37,441 --> 00:39:38,567 So you... 759 00:39:39,176 --> 00:39:40,871 You live with your parents. 760 00:39:44,115 --> 00:39:45,446 Is that a problem? 761 00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:53,948 No. 762 00:39:55,459 --> 00:39:56,721 Not for me. 763 00:39:58,362 --> 00:40:00,262 Would you like to stay for dinner? 764 00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:03,424 Oh! Wow. I'd love to. Thank you. 765 00:40:03,534 --> 00:40:04,796 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why? 766 00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:08,497 Well, it smells good, and I'm really hungry. Aren't you? 767 00:40:08,606 --> 00:40:11,769 Yeah, I'm hungry. But my mom here, she's cooking dinner. 768 00:40:11,876 --> 00:40:13,366 Like she does most nights. 769 00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:15,205 Right here, where I live, 770 00:40:15,312 --> 00:40:16,540 with them, 771 00:40:17,715 --> 00:40:19,979 in the same house I grew up in. 772 00:40:20,618 --> 00:40:22,017 That's nice. 773 00:40:23,287 --> 00:40:25,084 I'm gonna go mow the lawn. 774 00:40:25,222 --> 00:40:27,019 Well, we're about to sit down... 775 00:40:27,124 --> 00:40:29,319 Might mow the neighbor's, too. 776 00:40:31,128 --> 00:40:33,995 Is this really okay? 'Cause I don't want to intrude on family time. 777 00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:36,396 Oh, it's fine. I'll set another place. 778 00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:37,933 Okay, thanks. 779 00:40:39,937 --> 00:40:41,768 I'm gonna go help Dad. 780 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:43,607 Is there... 781 00:40:44,708 --> 00:40:46,107 Is there anything I can do to help? 782 00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:48,576 Listen, I am so sorry. 783 00:40:48,679 --> 00:40:52,080 I had no idea that he was going to bring me over here. 784 00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:54,578 But you are doing great. 785 00:40:54,685 --> 00:40:57,711 Well, you're not. I don't know what to tell you, honey, 786 00:40:57,822 --> 00:41:00,188 but that strict program of yours? 787 00:41:00,724 --> 00:41:02,817 You're gonna have to start deviating. 788 00:41:02,927 --> 00:41:04,258 He's breaking up with you. 789 00:41:04,361 --> 00:41:05,350 What? 790 00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:07,863 The only reason he ever brings girls home to meet us 791 00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:09,762 is 'cause he's getting ready to dump them. 792 00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:11,027 Really? 793 00:41:12,770 --> 00:41:13,737 Well, 794 00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:15,730 that's not happening. 795 00:41:19,710 --> 00:41:22,508 -Hey, Paula? Hey, sweetie? -Yes? 796 00:41:22,613 --> 00:41:26,140 I appreciate you staying for dinner, all right? 797 00:41:26,250 --> 00:41:27,808 And I know that must have been very awkward. 798 00:41:27,918 --> 00:41:29,215 Not at all. 799 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,582 Not at all? 800 00:41:35,059 --> 00:41:37,391 You don't mind that my parents are downstairs right now? 801 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,326 They're asleep in their chairs. 802 00:41:41,131 --> 00:41:42,257 Don't stare. 803 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,867 I'm paying for it. I'll stare if I want to. 804 00:41:49,907 --> 00:41:52,205 I'm just saying, you know, they might... 805 00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:54,406 They might hear us. 806 00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:57,345 Why? Are you a screamer? 807 00:42:32,950 --> 00:42:34,076 Paula? 808 00:42:37,321 --> 00:42:40,449 Hey, you're up! Wow, early risers. 809 00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:43,322 Hey, listen. FYI, work-wise, we're definitely on track. 810 00:42:43,427 --> 00:42:44,894 Things are good. Tripp is good. 811 00:42:44,995 --> 00:42:46,656 Well, actually, he's fantastic. 812 00:42:46,764 --> 00:42:48,994 Of course, I don't need to tell you that. You're his parents. 813 00:42:49,099 --> 00:42:53,229 I'm just trying to say, you should be very proud of him. 814 00:42:54,471 --> 00:42:55,438 Well... 815 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,071 You got a lovely home. 816 00:43:06,882 --> 00:43:08,816 I'm sorry, miss, you're not allowed to eat that in the store. 817 00:43:08,917 --> 00:43:09,975 Fine. 818 00:43:37,078 --> 00:43:39,979 I need to buy a gun. How much is this big gun here? 819 00:43:40,081 --> 00:43:43,812 That's a 12-gauge shotgun. That's a pretty powerful weapon. 820 00:43:43,919 --> 00:43:45,409 You know, for a woman your size, 821 00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,886 I'd probably recommend something a little, you know... 822 00:43:47,989 --> 00:43:48,978 More compact? 823 00:43:49,090 --> 00:43:52,253 So I just point, and then I squeeze the trigger and then boom. 824 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,090 Yeah. What did you say you were shooting? 825 00:43:55,197 --> 00:43:58,894 Twelve hundred bucks? Wow. How much are the bullets for this? 826 00:44:02,571 --> 00:44:05,540 Shells. Shotguns use shells. Anyway. Whatever. 827 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,631 They're 15 bucks for a box of 25. 828 00:44:07,742 --> 00:44:10,506 Okay, I don't need a whole box. I just need... 829 00:44:11,980 --> 00:44:12,947 one. 830 00:44:16,017 --> 00:44:16,984 You know, 831 00:44:20,188 --> 00:44:22,179 I get sad sometimes, too. 832 00:44:23,658 --> 00:44:26,149 So many pressures in life, you know? 833 00:44:26,795 --> 00:44:30,026 Can I give you a phone number for some people who can help... 834 00:44:30,131 --> 00:44:31,655 Oh, no. 835 00:44:31,766 --> 00:44:33,097 It's like a hotline. 836 00:44:33,201 --> 00:44:36,568 Listen, sunshine, I'm not 837 00:44:36,671 --> 00:44:38,298 -suicidal. -No, I know. 838 00:44:38,406 --> 00:44:42,035 I just have a problem with a mockingbird. 839 00:44:42,410 --> 00:44:43,707 Okay, 840 00:44:43,812 --> 00:44:46,906 -you can't kill a mockingbird. -Why not? 841 00:44:47,015 --> 00:44:49,882 Well, for one, there's the book To Kill a Mockingbird. 842 00:44:50,352 --> 00:44:52,047 A copy of that, too, right here. 843 00:44:52,153 --> 00:44:56,351 No, it's not a manual on how to kill mockingbirds. 844 00:44:56,458 --> 00:44:59,791 It's a classic American novel. How do you not know this? 845 00:45:00,562 --> 00:45:02,291 I know a lot of other things. Give me the gun! 846 00:45:02,397 --> 00:45:03,386 -No! -Yes! 847 00:45:03,498 --> 00:45:04,795 I'm not gonna sell you this gun. 848 00:45:04,900 --> 00:45:07,892 Mockingbirds are protected under the Federal Migratory Bird Treaty Act. 849 00:45:08,003 --> 00:45:09,095 Killing one is a crime.